#otherwise it was... humiliating.
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hakugreenfinch · 1 year ago
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sorry im being silly tonight. im just thinking about how. i was placed 3rd at a cosplay competition at japanexpo paris this year. and its one of my biggest achievements as a cosplayer and i cant really brag about it. like i told my parents. i guess. my friends congratulated me. thats nice. like. really nice. but idk its like. when people go to cons abroad and get placements, even when they dont, mondo posts about it and they get two pages in the next mondo issue. and i guess you have to let them know for them to report it but. it just feels like something thats cool if youre a big cosplay name and trashy if youre not and with 13 years like literally half my lifetime and a long history of competing i know im still not someone anyone would name their favourite cosplayer. im just some guy whos too broke and depressed to be able to make a big name and so my shitty little third place at the biggest anime con in europe feels like no big deal.
#hakuna matata#i won a prize at mondocon this april and the only reason im proud of that is a cosplayer i really love judged me#i was really happy i could show myself off to her and that she liked me this much bc shes the reason i started doing skits#otherwise it was... humiliating.#a pat on the head.#every other craft category got cosplay supplies. i got a big led keyboard for a computer i dont have because it was from a sponsor.#im conflicted too bc if i were to tell mondo about it they would post about it like 'representing hungary'#i didnt represent shit. i represented myself and an anime i love. i entered because my mondo prize felt like a sick joke#and i wanted to know if im worth anything as a craftsman besides being a funny clown#its like i do cool shit but barely anyone sees it.#something something tree falling in a forest#its also hurting because just this year i was told by someone that i cant cosplay seriously without expensive tools#this was someone with less experience than me too#like... what do i have to do? i compete abroad#i get prizes abroad i win mondo prizes ive been doing it for more than a decade i learned entirely new skills trying to cut costs#what do i have to do to be like. more than a clown in funny costumes.#(running a facebook page is not an option. i deleted the old one in a depressive episode and im not making another one)#argh idk. i published a fanbook this year. about to open preorders for my first collaborative charity fanzine.#it feels like the only people i can brag about these to are the people who already know about everything i do and support me#which!!! really!!! im super glad to have friends like this!!!#its just. sigh i wish i could tell more people about the things i do and get a reaction other than 'ok but who are you'#or 'idk what this means but congrats'#like. more than a pat on the head.#idk. idk im sad again and i feel like nothing matters and i dont want to bore my friends with this.#they deserve better than me making them feel like their love and support doesnt mean as much as they want to.
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blueberrybeomgyu · 29 days ago
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perv bsf!jaehyun drabble *ೃ༄
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+*:🌟:*﹤warnings : 18+ mdni, pillow humping, mentions of pegging, humiliation kink??, accidental voyeurism methinks / masterlist
✧・゚: *
bsf!jaehyun who...
acts so normal in your face but the second you leave his apartment, he's fucking into his pillow, hips rocking desperately as images of you flick through his mind.
you came over to hang out wearing the prettiest blue sweater jaehyun has ever seen, the periwinkle looked so pretty against your skin, and it was lowcut and a little too big for you, so whenever you'd bend over--
jaehyun's skin is on fire just thinking about it, humping his pillow mindlessly, letting his noises fall out of his mouth freely since he's alone, babbling a mess of "it feels so good, need you so bad," and when the corner of the pillow catches on his opening, the friction is so good through his boxers, and he's immediately wondering if you'd ever peg him, fuck him brainless
or is that's too weird for you? but he's thinking about it now, wants it so bad, his skin runs hot with shame, and he's crying out filthy words, moaning out your name as his orgasm washes over him, intense and mind-numbing
and you stand in the middle of his living room in shock, you'd left your phone charger, you were just coming back to get it. jaehyun never locks his fucking door, so when you walk in and are greeted with him moaning your name pathetically, you can't help but listen. when he reaches his peak, clarity washes over you, and you tip toe out of his house as quietly as you can, trying to figure out what you're going to do with this information.
✧・゚: *
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en-bitch · 6 months ago
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Misbehaving as someone's personal computer so they take you to a 'repair specialist'
"Hmm you've got a problem with your computer?"
"Yes, it takes way too long to respond to any input command"
"Hmm well let's take the shell off and hook it up to the diagnostics"
Your owner strips you naked and 'hooks you up' tying your hands together above your head, locking your legs in a spreader bar and putting an anal hook inside you
"So what have you tried so far?"
"Well I've tried blowing on it, turning it off and on again but it hasn't made much of an impact"
"Ok let's turn it on and see what we're working with"
Your head is lifted up and the blindfold is removed. The specialist asks you calculation questions a computer should be able to get instantly and shakes disapprovingly when you are unable to answer within the time limit. They 'calibrate' you, pinching your nipples and turning them as they continue to ask questions
"Sometimes it's just that something has clogged the internal fans and it needs to be removed, you can fix that with some percussive maintenance around the rear of the computer if you wouldn't mind."
Your owner gets behind and starts spanking you, making it so difficult to answer that you can't even say words properly.
"Well that's no good, the audio port is on the fritz" The specialist says, thrusting their fingers down your throat. "Ah ha! The audio driver is out of date. I'll need to install the newest version, but we'll have to keep your PC fully charged for the duration. Firstly we'll need to turn it off," they explain, putting the blindfold back on. "And second, the diagnostics machine won't apply enough power, so you'll need to keep filling it with power the entire time."
Like that you are taken off the hook and put on the 'operating' bed. The specialist takes your mouth whilst your owner pounds your ass, spitroasting you relentlessly. The specialist gives updates on what percent of the updates are downloaded and it spends an awfully long time at 69% downloaded. When they've both had enough fun you are finally released and booted up, only asking 'what is 2+2?' and 'who is your owner?' Satisfied, your owner turns you off and begins to take you out of the store
"Now you'll want to keep those drivers up to date, maybe next time I'll give you the update so you can try installing the driver whilst I supply the power eh?"
"That would be wonderful, I'm always terrible at installing updates so please let me know when there is a new driver available <3"
If you liked this maybe tell me I'm a good bot 👉👈
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valtsv · 2 years ago
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i can't believe there's a most annoying tumblr users poll and nobody nominated me when there are literally posts about how i'm the worst tumblr user out there with more notes than the population of some people's hometowns, but i'm glad nobody did considering how much harassment i've dealt with because of those posts to the point that i wouldn't wish the experience on my worst enemies. what a stupid, cruel idea. i hope whoever came up with it is ashamed of themselves.
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sforzesco · 4 months ago
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Do you think Spartacus haunts Rome ?
honestly I'm kind of cooling on haunting (specifically What Haunts Rome) as a concept, I'm just not interested in that kind of thing wrt to Rome right now. but the idea of Spartacus probably did. the humiliation, for sure. an empire being brought to heel by a slave (and a gladiator, at that) definitely bothered Rome going forward (if the extent of erasure with Spartacus is anything to go by)
but I'm also pretty sure Spartacus just straight up cursed Rome as a whole, and that kind of thing sticks around.
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Appian Civ. 1.117
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Blood in the Arena, Alison Futrell
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uncanny-tranny · 2 years ago
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I sincerely believe that institutionalization is a deterrent for healing. The state of many institutions is incapable of handling people in acute need, and more often than not, we are traumatized from institutionalization because of this reality.
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god-of-this-new-blog · 1 year ago
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“For a master of deception and subterfuge, You’ve made yourself quite the bed to lie in”
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ghostlyheart · 8 days ago
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In my OWN personal crisis journey that no one cares about because the country is on fire- midterm did not get completed and I am emailing the professor to drop the class. Also tags are Embarrassingly personal and have dark mental health stuff be forewarned. But if you want to read some personal drama as a distraction then I am happy to be that person for you lol
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skunkes · 9 months ago
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the way I've been raised has shown itself in a recent awful experience I had and the realization won't leave me because I'm not sure what to do about it.
I don't like feeling anger/upset and it's rare for me to feel it anyway but it's led to me being unable to tell what's worth getting upset over anymore. If my wants upset somebody, then, well, maybe I shouldn't have them? What is so serious that I need it to go completely my way...? What desires am I allowed to have. It's not that serious, it's okay if not, you can't always get what you want....
every time I feel Upset I am later wracked with guilt because it wasn't a big deal and I was just being selfish... What IS a big deal then? How can I tell? Its admittedly never a big deal... But I keep being upset. And stepped on....
#talkys#this is what led to me Staying for as long as i did#there would be issues but if I brought them up i wld then be made to feel guilty for feeling that way#but i cant reverse that bc well!! its true like is it really a big deal? life isnt that serious I dont need to get upset...#i get upset at something my parents do and in the end i feel ungrateful and selfish#i really cant tell anymore which is why i Stayed as mentioned above#in the sense of well yeah the way im being treated doesnt make me feel good but why do i need to feel good?#isnt that selfish...isnt that asking too much...isnt that making yourself out to be Better Than...#i really dont know. i get so ready to give up my position on anything because I dont want to be selfish#and because im no better than anyone else#my mom caused some drama on my birthday wrt my sister's family and it led to me not being able to go to the duck#pond on my birthday... which is the only thing i really wanted to do on an otherwise uneventful day#i was meant to feel shame abt it because well we can always go any other day!!! relax!!!#and it is true....!#we can go any other day why did i get upset? its not that serious...nothing is that serious...i feel so guilty + spoiled + selfish#i just felt humiliated for wanting to go in the first place. and for getting upset that we couldnt go. like a toddler.#*not that i actually get Toddler Level upset...but it always Feels like i did...ykwim#i just dont understand......idk if i can Repair this....
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drowninginredink · 10 months ago
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I'm picturing Tommy Bowe and Grant O'Brian in the same room together. And I don't think the world would survive. I need it and it's never going to happen. Just. You see the vision, right?
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james-is-nasqueer · 3 months ago
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anyone else seeing some distasteful kurt busch dwi takes or is it just me
#like don't get me wrong... it's bad. he had a LOT in his system and he shouldn't have been driving#but oh my god...#calling him disgusting?#when (if you take like 5 minutes to look) a lot of his fans seem to think he might have a drinking problem...?#I don't know anything about the guy honestly. he could be the worst person in nascar or a literal saint. it doesn't matter#I just think it's weird for people to hop on their soap boxes to publicly decry him worthless for this#like you don't have to like him to not be condescending to addicts??#holy shittt#it's truly awful#and it's coming from a LOT of ''left leaning'' accounts I follow too. sad.#like sure you want to help alcoholics/addicts but do you show compassion.#instead of ''this is disgusting I am repulsed by [man I don't know]'s actions''#how about you try ''wow this is disappointing but I really hope he seeks help for both the community and his sake''#otherwise your comments are just performative bullshit#addicts shouldn't have to read your garbage and shame themselves into healing.#cause yknow that doesn't always fucking work. sometimes it makes them want to harm themselves MORE.#because if they're already so terrible how can they live sober/clean?!#so maybe shut the fuck up.#anyway. you can socially condemn things without trying to humiliate addicts and potential addicts who are ultimately#victims of their condition.#sincerely. the son and grandson of several addicts.#P.S. THIS POST IS NOT SAYING ADDICTS ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS. NOWHERE DO I SAY THAT.#ok bye
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chirpsythismorning · 2 years ago
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People keep posting in the tag like WHERE ARE THE LEAKS bc we keep talking about it.
To be clear, there are no leaks. And I feel like it’s disingenuous to keep humoring stuff that we know for a fact is false. Like it’s 100% false and there is no room for speculation.
And then on top of that not giving the full context of the situation that led us here, because a lot of fans just popping in obviously don’t have that context. They hear the word leak and they get excited and then it just spirals to something that complicates things even more.
To be clear, there was one account on Twitter that is known for having sources and getting leaks. This one account said they got a spoiler in their inbox. They did not share that source nor the spoiler. That’s where the supposed leak ends. That’s it.
Since that happened, fans have been unhinged making claims they have a source too.
I understand being misinformed because you don’t have all the information. And that’s why it’s harmful to humor stuff as if it has an ounce of validity when we know it doesn’t, creating confusion.
If there was ever a leak, it’ll come from a source directly, and it’ll likely end up on the Hawkins AV Club on Reddit. IF you want leaks, join that sub and wait it out. THEN if and when something happens, there will likely be a list of leaks based on what comes from that. THIS is when there will be fans saying they have a leak, when really all they have is the leak the sub has. If fans said they had leaks in the past and they ended up being accurate, it came from that sub, not from their personal source. And so that’s my issue with taking claims fans have sources seriously rn, bc there are no leaks for them to even claim they have. They’re just trolling and using the past of having leaks that weren’t even theirs in the first place, as an excuse for why they magically have some now. But they don’t.
And seeing fans take these claims seriously, when its coming from people very intentionally mocking bylers, like it’s hard to watch.
It’s not a matter of maybe it’s true maybe it’s not. It’s not true. And spending time confusing people over it as if there’s a chance it could be true, is going to make this hiatus miserable bc we are clearly struggling to think critically about what’s worth our time, as if it’s worth confusing other fans over, based simply on just wanting stuff to talk about.
Of course we’re bored and lacking content. There is still plenty of stuff we can do that doesn’t involve falling for stuff specifically made to mock us by antis.
And now people elsewhere are saying the leaks came from byler tumblr, which isn’t even true, and we’re getting shit on for something that wasn’t our doing in the first place. We get enough hate as it is for simply shipping byler, and now we have to deal with claims that we are making up stuff. People are going to think and say what they want about us, but I dread that we’re giving them ammo to criticize us even more for stuff that we never started in the first place.
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dudeslut · 6 months ago
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oh gosh, I would love to play with your little penis... to put it inside me and start rocking against you, trying so hard to get it deep enough that it makes me feel good, but it's just too small, huh? Feeling your penis twitch in me as you cum again, and still not making it to my g spot. What a shame. Guess I'll have to use your mouth to make me cum, this little thing is merely a decoration between your pretty legs...
-🪻
God the things you send always work me up to no end. I love the way to talk to me 🥵. No lie, when I first read this it made me so hard and horny so fast I got a stomach ache 😵‍💫 Been on my mind all day.
You get me so overwhelmed, my little erection aches for contact. As you toy with me, I lose control; something switches my brain off and I'm grunting, barely able to form words, and all of a sudden I have a desperate, burning need to be inside you. My cockdrunk behavior, erratic humping, and whines slurred by drool collecting in my mouth leaves no need to guess as to what I want. What I need.
When you take control, guiding my bucking hips so my throbbing little penis enters your wet heat on my next thrust, I'm immediately gone. My vision blurs and I yell out a choked sobbing moan in intense ecstasy. I'm inside you. I'm inside you and your warm wet hole is enveloping me. And fuck- I'm cumming. Cumming hard. Shaking uncontrollably as just being allowed to be inside of you like this is enough to push me over.
"S-s-sorry...," I stammer out a slurred apology for cumming prematurely and without permission as I continue to shake against you. But my remorsefulness only lasts a moment as it's quickly replaced by that burning desire. I'm still hard and so so so needy. Desperate. Feeling as if I'm under the spell of an otherworldly aphrodisiac.
I can't hold back, feeling like an animal in heat I start to desperately rut into you. My head hanging by your ear, you hear every desperate whine, pathetic whimper, and pleasured moan that being inside of you wrings out of me. The only thing on my mind is cumming again. And again. Feeling like I need to chase the high at all costs.
The only words that spill out of my mouth is a repeated, whiny chanting, "s-so good so good so f-fucking good feel sooooo f-fucking good!" The sounds of rapid, wet slapping as my hips snap against yours drive me even more mad with lust. Fucking my tiny tdick into you wildly until my body stiffens as I hit my second orgasm.
I manage to yell out a warning (barely) before my orgasm overtakes me, letting out an animal-like howl of blinding pleasure. Upon feeling my body begin to build back with the same, violent need to fuck and breed you, I resume my desperate thrusting. Face red, body soaked in sweat, but with no signs of coming down.
Still so desperate with my own need, but I can't help but whine with frustration; my pathetically tiny tdick barely penetrates your hole. It's as if being unable to cum deep into you and fuck you like you deserve is keeping me in this heightened aroused state. No matter how much or how hard I cum from the feeling your perfect hole provides me, I can't pleasure you.
The lack of stimulation to you makes me increasingly frustrated. What was once a pleasurable chase of a high quickly devolves into a helpless pursuit; no matter how hard I thrust, I just can't get my throbbing little penis to make contact with your g-spot. Good boys should be able to please you and make you cum as often and however you desire. And after being a bad boy by cumming early and without permission, my attempt to prove I can be good is an impossible one.
That is, until my one-track focus is broken and I'm temporarily brought out of my blissed-out haze by you pulling off of me. The loss of your deliciously warm hole makes me let out a whine as I feel my tcock twitch and pulse at the air. However, my hope is restored at the ability to get you off with my mouth. A charge of desire surges back through me in anticipation of you using my mouth like your personal fleshlight.
With my own aching need still throbbing noticeably inbetween my slick-covered thighs, I plead, "Please can I play with my pathetic little penis while you use my needy mouth? I want to cum again so bad, please I need it. And sucking you off makes me so horny like a good little whore, I can't help it."
With my eyes blown wide with desperation, and my soft lips in a pout, I slowly grind my painfully erect little penis against your thigh as one last attempt at persuading you~
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primalbloodlust · 1 year ago
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📍Location: Hell
You will learn what it is to feel without flesh.
Little by little, you will be deprived of the luxury of your hide, for you have not been receptive to its wonders.
We will flay the flesh from your meat, knowing that soon all will be revealed.
We wait
for your tears and mount your pelt on a mannequin; the masterpiece takes your shape
and you're never referred to by your name again.
We torment you over weeks as your replacement rots in front of you and your semblance of identity wanes, your blasphemous soul piked on our cock as a trophy for all eternity along with the others.
Your wounds never fully heal.
This is what it is to be grateful.
You deserve it.
To be changed.
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ozlices · 9 months ago
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im like sincerely so sorry bc my most shameful flaw is that envy is one of my favorite characters in the entirety of fma which is like. listen it's genuinely irredeemable but she knew exactly what she was doing when she made envy the pinnacle of gender envy bc my non-binary ass is NOT immune to feeling the gender envy to the highest degree for that little freak
#mine#i feel less ashamed for being hornee abt shin tsukimi do u understand. how humiliating that is.#literally dont even perceive me this is my greatest sin ok AT LEAST IM SELF AWARE#THEY LITERALLY DO ALL THE MOST HEINOUS SHIT IN THE ENTIRE SERIES NEXT TO KIMBLEE#AND THEY /BOTH/ GET OFF ON IT TOO WHICH MAKES IT WORSE#BUT THEYRE JUST SO PAINFULLY GENDER IM TOO WEAK TO RESIST#i want their voice. i want it so bad it's so painful i hate them so much. but i also adore them. and hate myself for that#she was targeting ME SPECIFICALLY when she made them frfrfrfr#fma#i hesitate to even put this in a tag but i feel like other trans ppl will get it. right. u get it right or am i just a lonesome fool#also. js. i hate kimblee. i fucking DESPISE kimblee actually. worst piece of shit ever in the whole series.#i actually got mad bc i forgot just how long he lasts in the series. FAR TOO LONG IF U ASK ME.#& also. i. feel like. i should get points too bc envy is rly the only absolute irredeemable piece of shit i actually enjoy#bc usually. i am a sheep. & i HATE them. but. i am also a sheep. to gender envy. sooooo. unsurprising exception.#but like otherwise unless u wanna count like my man dracula from castlevania which i feel like is not comparable bc he was VALID#envy is the only villain i actually truly like. any other 'villain' i like is more... morally grey. or. understandable. u know. u get it.#anyway. dont ever perceive me for this im ashamed#& also no the irony of having the mention of jealousy/envy as a my most strict boundary & yet having the literal embodiment of envy#as one of my fav characters in my favorite anime of all time is not lost on me. i am a walking contradiction we all know this#at least they're not THE favorite. u can take a very predictable guess on who that title goes to
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god-of-knk · 2 months ago
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Host I'm not posting that you can kiss my ass.
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